Eyes Of The Number Seven: December 2013

"You're Only as Good as Your Last Event."

That quote keeps playing in my head over and over again as I wait for my flight home from playing The Naza Paintball World Cup Asia 2013. Let me step back a few days. Leading towards World Cup Asia this year has been an "adventure". Coming from having no team to having a team but haven't played an event all year long, to not knowing which division to play, to not having much players, to trying to get the amount of hours clocked in of practice so the team can be ready for this year's WCA. Not to mention all the drama that has come from last year to this year. All and all, it was something that I had to get through to mature and be in the state of mind and condition my personally want to be as a Paintball player.

A couple of changes made, I stepped down as Captain of my team as I felt I would be better contributing as a full time player. Kelby Wong was chosen to be Captain of Medan Smokers. It only felt right as he is also the owner of the team and as the eldest member in the team, so the guys would respect his reasoning.

And than there as a couple more issues, First, who will be playing? Not wanting to repeat the mistakes we did last year, he had to make a good roster. With that said, the team grabbed Reza Al-Habsyi from Medan Comrades to be part of the team, as we felt he is ready for the improvement. Another addition is Novrial Fajri Kurniawan, the youngest on the team. The only minus was losing Meiji Morico for personal reasons. So, at last we had seven players in the roster. Second, what division to play in? We all gave our words and ideas on this matter. The Why's and Why Not's, and eventually we picked to play division 2 making a jump forward from last year. Many doubts crossed many minds on why we decided to play division 2, but for me personally it was a statement.

Last year's WCA for me was a disaster. But I didn't let that put me down. I knew what I wanted to achieve. So, I did what I felt was necessary. I trained harder. From the Offseason and every other week leading to World Cup Asia 2013. I shared my vision with Reza Al-Habsyi and we literally worked our assess off. We had something to prove. Even when people don't understand or what they think we're just wasting our time. We don't blame them. To us, this is more than just about our passion. A whole lot more. But the only way to show that is by proving. And that's why our goal is to Win World Cup. Not to be a fluke or a waste of time. That's why to us it just mattered more.

Our weekends were all filled with practices. Saturdays and Sundays. I personally missed a lot of family ventures, friend's weddings, and others, but it was something I felt I had to sacrifice and did. It was a blessing when I knew my family understood and supported me with paintball.

And how we trained; Bloody Knuckles.

We headed to Langkawi at the 13th of November 2013, a day early. And as expected got a early view of the field layout on our division. We walked the field for a couple of hours, getting to know the feel and angles the field is letting us. Sorted our gameplans and went for dinner. On Thursday, I attended the Planet Eclipse Tech Class, and awarded a certificate which I got by passing the test, which was cool. Later in the evening, after the captain's meeting and drawing of teams per division, we had our team meeting. Drawing preferred game plans while discussing them at the same time. Our first game was at 8.48 in the morning the following day. As the schedule was different from last year, where this year our prelims games were all played in one day depending on which group we were in. So, we had Friday as our prelim day and the Saturday off.

Honestly, I didn't pay much attention to who we were going to play. All I knew was the time we were playing. All I cared about was how I was going to play not how other teams were going to play. I was in a state of mind where I wanted the other teams to adjust to how I played, not the other way around. I wanted to dictate the game.

First game of the day, Kuwait Kamikaze. We knew our game plan, all we needed to do was execute. First point, buzzer goes off, got to my spot, shot my lanes, but we lost the point. 0-1. I remember going back to the pits, one of the guys kept saying "sorry, it was my fault.". I said, "don't worry about it, gas up, pod up.". I wasn't going to burst into emotions every time something goes wrong, or when we lose a point. Just clear my head up and play better. Second point, 30 seconds. I looked across the field, saw our opponents a bit jumping around or goofing around or dancing around like stuff. The first thing the came across my mind was, "Wow, these guys are having a great time. Dealing with us like we were nothing.". And boom, that did it for me. There was no way I'm letting that happen. 10 seconds. Buzzer sounded. I pushed aggressive to the snake. Got my kills and the others finished it. 1-1. It came to the point where I didn't care who was across the field from me. I had a goal, and I want it bad. We ended up winning the game 2-1.

After the game, The Kuwait Kamikaze team, were like family. These guys were awesome. And we literally helped each other out after that game. The one thing still on my mind : Win World Cup.

Our second game was against Assala Gabon. Hot and ready to go we entered the field. Like the first match, we our the first point but equalized on the second. Third point, I was fired up. We changed the game plan, letting me push the snake side off the break. 10 seconds. The buzzer blew, I launched, heads up looking for the stream of paint towards the snake. And then it happened. At the worst possible time, in a middle of a run, in a game, as I was about to make the dive to the snake I heard a popping sound. My right thigh felt like there was a hot knife cutting it wide open. Adrenaline still pumping, I make the dive and hid behind my bunker not shooting my gun. I was in pain, but I was covering it. I kept thinking, damn, my tournament is over on the second game. There was no way I was going to be able to sprint or do what I normally do tournament wise. I was frustrated. Mad at myself. Knowing in my mind that my tournament was over, I was determined to at least finish this point off for my team. I pulled myself together, took a deep breathe and shot my gun. I wasn't going to hobble off the field. It was clear to me what I had to do whether or not it was my last point to play for the tournament. We ended up winning the point. 2-1. As soon as I got to the pits I had to sat down. The pain was excruciating. I told the Captain that I had to sit out. We ended out drawing the game 2-2. After the game, the guys asked me what happened. I looked at their eyes, there was concern, doubt, so I told them I'm ok, just pulled a muscle. When I knew it was more than that. I don't know why I lied, but it seem to me it was better that way. I sat by the Captain, he asked me how is it? I said I can play but not at the front position. So, we had a little team meeting, discussing a change of role. There was absolutely a change of atmosphere after that. I was going to play the two position (Mid) behind Reza who was whiched from front dorito to front snake. After the meeting our next game was still long, so I decided to head up to the medical center to get my hamstring wrapped up. I couldn't find any medical center, I tried to ask but no one seem to know. I went back, grabbed my bag and pulled out my muscle cream and massaged my hamstring by myself. I didn't want to let my teammates down nor myself even when I clearly couldn't run. But I hid that.

Third game was against Datis D2. We got run down, 0-3. I took a lot of bonus balls. Clearly it was the wrong game plan, and the wrong composition. We sat down, everyone had their heads down. I even think that maybe some of us thought that we didn't belong here. I remember sitting there, reminiscing my past year. What I went through, what my goal was. And out of now where I decided and said to the Captain, "Put me back in the snake, I'll play the snake.". I wasn't going to let this go to waste. Even when I know I might be putting my career in the line, but it was a risk I was willing to take for my team. "Swing Big or Miss Big". I was choosing to swing big. From that moment, I sense a change in our team. And it was big.

We won our remaining three prelim games, putting us with 4 wins, 1 draw and 1 lost. Something that we never did ever before. We finally got over the hump and went through the prelims onto the Top 16. Everyone was delighted and overly excited. Yes, it was an accomplishment nonetheless. A very sweet accomplishment. And for some it was their target. For me and Reza, well it was a different story. For us it was just the beginning. We knew we were able to get through, we already planned it out. So, our first step was in the books. Now moving on to the second step. Sadly, even though the joy on winning and advancing were sweet, I was in more pain. My hamstring kept swelling but I still kept quite. I didn't want to ruin anything. We packed up, had lunch and than helped out Medan Comrades on their prelims. We were second in our group.

photo by Mary Walker

photo by Girl With a Camera

Photo by Mary Walker

photo by Girl With a Camera

Day One concluded, as us Medan Smokers prevail to the Top 16 division 2 at The Naza World Cup 2013 and Medan Comrades were 3 and 3 at the first day of their prelims in division 4.

Tomorrow is a new day.

We held back to the hotel, got dinner and rested up.

Day Two, woke up and feeling like there was a big baseball in my hamstring. It was all swollen. When I apply pressure I was in agony. We all promised to help Medan Comrades today with their remaining prelim games as we had the day off. I had my breakfast than took a shower. We reached the field, I was still searching for medical support but finally got some at the Rock Tape booth. Bought Rock Tape and they took care of me. I could walk more easily now even though the pain was still there. I remember thinking that it might be a tear, but kept a positive mind on it. Well, the day was great, Medan Comrades finished off the day undefeated putting them through to the Top 16. So, both Magnum Paintball teams succeeded on making through the prelims. We got to watch some division 1 and ICC games before heading for dinner. By that time I was searching for my pills. I was actually already sick going to Langkawi but never told anybody about it. I just kept taking my pills, but unfortunately forgot them at the hotel. I was burning up at dinner which I didn't even finish. Making it worse that our first game the following day was at 9 o'clock. By the time we got back to the hotel, I took my pills with a few vitamins and pain killers. I remember counting 7 pills that night, and than dropping.

Woke up the next morning at 4AM. Fever down and feeling better. It was time for Sunday Club Paintball. Our team's first Sunday Club appearance and the first for many of our players. It was an exciting feeling. But most of all I was focused. I was determined. Our first Top 16 game was at 9 AM, so we got to the field before 8 and got prepped. Did our warm ups and went over the game plans again.

First game of the day, Top 16 Match up was against Clover International South America. These guys also play at the ICC (Inter-Continental Cup), but I didn't let that get to my head. I treated it like any other game. And this time I was willing to make a statement. I was willing to Win World Cup. I didn't remember much about this game except the fact we won 3-0. Morale was high. We didn't let anything come at us, even when one of the opponents that we just beat came to our table and sort of "congratulating" us, saying that because of the lost they just got by us, they will win the remaining games and become champions. For me, it was disrespectful, and the fact he said it to each one of us really got me thinking that it was just a mind game act. So, no worries on that part.

Our second game of the Top 16 was against Republik CMX. There were the leading team to win overall champion, so I knew they were a force to be recon with. First point, all was going well and we won the point. 1-0. Second point, same game plan. Got to our bunkers, shot our lanes. Got a couple of G's, but one thing lead to another and we lost the point. Eventually we lost the game. It was then, clear to me where our achilles heal was. Communication.

But not like last year and the years before, that defeat didn't get to our emotions. We just had to suck it up and think clearly. We got to be prepared. Our season was on the line as there was one game left and it was a must win situation. Our opponent, Votolocos. A very good team.

Kelby called a team meeting, he wanted to change things up. A different game plan. It was clear that other teams were reading our previous game plans. We had nothing to lose and actually everything to lose. It was that Poker Face situation. But we had faith on our Captain and his decision. So, everyone was in.

Third and final game of the Top 16. Do or die. First point, we came out swinging and won the point. 1-0. Second point, change our game plan and it worked. 2-0. The momentum in our hands, third point, we changed our game plan again, but it didn't work out. 2-1. Forth point, we decided to go back to the original game plan. I figured because of our game changing plans, it worked for us. We were trying to get the opponent to keep guessing our move. The time expired without any of us scoring another point. We won 2-1. And had a ticket to the Top 8. Everyone was at joy. A lot of the guys didn't even think we were going to go this far. I looked at Reza. We knew what this meant. And we want more. Our game face was still the same. We weren't done. Not by a long shot. The Cup, one step closer.

We had a long break, waiting for the other games to play out. We still had to keep focus. It's not over yet. As usual I didn't want to get caught up on who was going to be our next opponent. I just waited for the time to play.

Now this was crucial. Our team was called to play the quarterfinal game against Menace. Second quarterfinal game, we only had 4 players. And the other 3 no where to be found. Honestly, chaos broke loose. I myself trying to calm myself down, thinking, ok the worst that could happen is that we play 4 players. My mindset was set on that, I didn't want to be caught up in the emotion of something else. Our captain went to the command center trying to delay time so we can find our remaining players. The 4 that was ready tried the best to prepare everything else. The Quarter Finals was a knock out stage, so, if we lose, we go home. End of the season. The game before us had one more point to win and then it was our game, still no sign of our other players. We gas up, pod up and was ready to go into the pits, as we saw the other players running to the field. I didn't have the luxury of thinking something else. I had to be focused on the next game.

Quarter Final game, Menace. First point, got to our bunkers, shot our lanes. But something felt different, something was off, something was not into place. 0-1. Second point, switch of game plan. Got to our bunkers, shot our lanes again, still something wasn't right. 0-2. Third point, switch sides. Change of game plan. We had to attack. I pushed hard to the snake, not thinking much about my injury, I just wanted to win at any cost. Got in safely, shot my lanes, got a couple of kills but by that time only I was left with Ikhsan. He got a penalty and that was it, the season going out the window. As I walked to the pits, I heard the buzzer go off. Game over. 0-3. Our run was stopped by Menace who eventually won the event in division 2. I got to the pits, got my gear and head back to our tables. Honestly, I was emotionally tired, not from the game, but the condition on how we lost. Frustrating as it was, I wasn't going to burst. I had to hold down that emotion. We all put our gear at the table and decided to talk it over.

Everyone had a talk in. About that last game and the tournament in general. Everyone talked about how different the last opponent was, how they kept pressuring. Overall it was a good event. First time playing division 2 for the team and we got to the quarter finals with new leadership. Something we never could have done before. Everyone was satisfied. Everyone except me and Reza. In my opinion, we could have approached the Quarter Finals better. We lost to a great team, yes, but I know we could have done better if we were focused and ready enough. The main reason we lost was because of ourselves. We don't have anyone else to blame. I'm not here to judge and I'm not here to point fingers. I'm just pointing out what I see and how I see it.

For me and Reza, our goals were cut short. A real disappointment. We have sacrificed a lot and to be cut short because of a reason we could have prevented was really a kick to the teeth. For us, even though this was quite a good result, it was still failure. We had things to prove. Prove to certain people as to ourselves. We knew what was on the line. What people would think if we don't win. The perception was clear. You're Only as Good as Your Last Event. Anything short of a win, is failure. I remember, 2nd place is the first loser. That's how I push myself. My drive. We wanted to Win World Cup. We needed to Win World Cup.

Even though we placed 6th Overall in Division 2, as I got back home, remembering the event. It still haunts me, the if's and how's kick in. I analyze myself. Knowing my mistakes. I will get better. I also found a new drive. Something that made me want this even more.